How to Manage Performance Anxiety in the Moment

You’re standing in front of the room. Or sitting across from someone on a first date. Or preparing to speak up in a meeting.

And suddenly, your body tightens. Your thoughts scatter. Your breath becomes shallow. That familiar wave of performance anxiety begins to rise.

Even when you've done the work, even when you're prepared, anxiety can still show up. Not because you're broken—but because you're human. And what you’re doing matters to you.

In those intense moments, it’s easy to feel powerless. But there are tools you can use to steady yourself, soften your fear, and find your way back to presence.

Here are a few ways to manage performance anxiety in the moment that are practical, compassionate tools I often share with my clients.

1. Breathe with Intention

When anxiety hits, your breath is often the first to go. It becomes shallow, rapid, or erratic, which only reinforces the panic loop.

One of the most effective ways to interrupt this cycle is by consciously shifting your breath.

Try this:

• Inhale through your nose for 4 counts

• Hold for 4 counts

• Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6 counts

• Repeat for 1–2 minutes

This kind of paced breathing helps calm your nervous system and signal to your body that you're safe, even if your mind is racing.

2. Ground Through Your Senses

Performance anxiety often pulls us out of the present moment and into fearful projection

What if I mess up? What will they think of me?

Grounding techniques help you reorient to what’s actually happening now.

Try this:

• Name 5 things you can see

• 4 things you can touch

• 3 things you can hear

• 2 things you can smell

• 1 thing you can taste

This sensory check-in brings you back to your body and surroundings, which can help reduce overwhelm and reestablish control.

3. Use a Centering Statement

In the moment, self-doubt can take over. Having a statement or a reminder of your strength that you can focus on can anchor you.

These aren’t forced affirmations. They’re truths that speak to your resilience.

Examples:

• “I’ve done this before. I can do it again.”

• “It’s okay to be nervous. I don’t have to be perfect.”

• “I can feel anxious and still show up.”

Choose a phrase that feels honest and grounding. Repeat it internally or under your breath if you start to feel unsteady.

4. Connect With Your Body, Not Just Your Thoughts

Anxiety is not just a mental experience—it’s physical too. Often, we try to think our way out of it. But sometimes what we really need is to move through it.

If you’re able, try:

• Gently pressing your feet into the floor

• Loosening your shoulders or jaw

• Placing a hand over your heart or stomach

• Walking slowly for a few minutes before your event or conversation

These small actions can shift the energy inside you, creating space for your mind to settle down.

5. Let Yourself Be Human

Sometimes, the most powerful tool is simply this reminder: 

You don’t have to perform your way into worthiness.

Performance anxiety often stems from deep fears of being judged, rejected, or exposed. For many in the LGBTQ+ community, those fears can carry echoes of past experiences where visibility felt unsafe.

What if, instead of fighting your anxiety or masking it, you allowed yourself to be fully human?

It’s okay to be nervous. It’s okay to care deeply about how you show up. You don’t need to be flawless to be effective, lovable, or enough.

A Final Thought

These strategies won’t eliminate performance anxiety completely. And they’re not meant to.

What they can do is help you respond with more choice and compassion in the moment so anxiety doesn’t run the show.

If you want to understand the roots of your anxiety and shift the patterns that keep it in place, therapy can help.

Work With Me

I specialize in helping adults, especially those in the LGBTQ+ and Gay community, navigate anxiety, trauma, and identity with clarity and care.

Together, we can explore the deeper layers of your performance anxiety, uncover what’s driving it, and build a toolkit to help you show up more fully in your life. Call (202) 505-2795 or reach out to schedule a free consultation.

Dr. Wayne Bullock is a compassionate, experienced, and licensed counselor in Washington D.C. focused on the needs of gay men and the LGBTQ community. Specialties include the treatment of trauma, depression, anxiety, and sex therapy.