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  • Writer's pictureDr Wayne Bullock

Imagining A Better Life

Updated: Feb 10

Our lives are filled with a series of events; one after another. Blissful events, tragic events, and everything in between.

When those tragic events happen – those knock us flat on our back events – it’s natural to feel lost. To be lost. Grief and feelings of helplessness are part of being human.

The grieving process is a personal one. The amount of anxiety you experience can be overwhelming.

The path and the timeframe of the healing process are uniquely yours. We are, of course, allowed to take as long as we need. And it’s important to know that. Yet hopefully, we don’t allow ourselves to grieve longer than is helpful for your overall wellbeing.

At some point, you’ll want to move forward. Perhaps not ‘move on’ but move forward. You’ll realize that you deserve some mental self-care, and you’ll recognize that you need relief.

Where and how you find relief is also a personal matter. You may lean on a professional to help you sort through your thoughts. You may find relief in giving of yourself to the less fortunate. Or spending more time with those close to you. Perhaps a combination of all of these and others.

But whichever approach you select, no long-term relief or growth will be experienced unless you do one thing first. You must imagine and believe that a better life awaits you.

It doesn’t matter if you’re recovering from a broken heart, a broken relationship, a diagnosis, or a dependency. Believe that a better life awaits, and you will be likely to notice those things that will aid in building a better life.

You can fake it at first, as you may not be fully ready to entertain such a thought like hope, but you must continue to remind yourself that happiness and a better life exists. You must picture it, feel it, and come to believe it.

When you do, you’ll begin your healing. You’ll begin to find small elements of happiness. You’ll begin to treat yourself as a friend. And you’ll grow.

Dr. Wayne Bullock is a Washington D.C. area therapist specializing in the needs of gay men and the LGBTQ community. Wayne's expertise includes helping those affected by anxiety, depression, and trauma.

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